Pearls

This line had somehow given me the thrill, 
"Some may say medicine has taken over my life, but I believe it has given me much more than it has taken away"- Sheila M, Pediatrics Resident Physician, UH Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital, Cleveland, Ohio.

Neither a job nor a career, medicine is a way of life. It's something destined within us.

Indira

Something to let out

Everyday,
We don't go a day without interacting with people.
Around the the neighborhood. Working place. Streets. Next door. Everywhere.
Wherever we go, there will always be people we like, we dislike.
If they judge us, let them.

Don't be one of those fake people who think that they're always right.
And no doubt we'll deal with more people who say things that push us to our limits, but trust this; we don't want to be like that. 

Everyday,
We don't go a day without making mistakes. So does everyone else. Acknowledge that. 

Everyday,
There're times we're being childish, the key is to admit it and stop trying to prove that we are right.

Being mature only shows in how little sh*t we give and how much quality we have in our actions when dealing with people and issues.

Let just be one of those who bury themselves in doing the things we love, who knows by heart that we have so much to give to others.
Keep creating, because once we do good, people would race their ways to reach our excellence.
Keep our hands clean and our minds busy making things that people will remember, in goods ways.
Surely, whatever good things we earn from doing what we do good, don't let our feet fly too high.
Don't let the rats chew our shoes down there on the ground.

Everyday,
Wherever we go, problems are our daily meal. They are, ironically, unavoidable fact of life.
Let those dramas be. We date them everyday.

Hatred is a personal dwelling. It stays within everyone, including us.
Our every move will burn those people whose their eyes are never far from us.
Our glow will bother them, our rights are always the faulty to them.
They'll nourish our wrongs, and they'll always dig to find our blemish.

When we do good, they'll give us the stamp in our head, "ridiculous perfectionist"

And on the other time we do wrong, they'll remember it, like for ever.

They'd do anything to stub us.
But try to let them be, try to be far from what they are and what they do.

Laugh at mockeries. Mocking, unless meant as a joke, is only for the unable. So, just laugh at them.

We all, are, after all, what we think. Our emotions are the slaves to our thoughts and we are the slaves to our emotions'.
We're human, and it's completely acceptable to get emotional at some point. But put in mind, avoid getting dragged down to the lower, pitiful, ones.
Therefore, don't get carried away too far. There's nothing that can help us go through it than just stay in our true selves.
"We don't need people to like us. We don't need to like people." -C.A 
Just live, be true, and watch our backs.

......................

At the very moment,

I'm kind of tired of trying to explain myself to everyone,
Because remember, those people who like us won't need that.
and those people who don't, won't believe that.
Remember, once we believe the key to success is to please everybody, we'd definitely fail.

......................
Okay, too much to say already.
Night, y'all.

Indira

There's always times like these.

And now, how I wish that I could be less care.

And I hope there're any, slightest, tiniest, goodness still left in you. To help you.

It was not really late at night when one of my junior-high mates texted me on BBM, saying hello. It's nice to hear about her and her family, as I was really close to them back then. Then we were drawn chatting all over. I've told my stories about life lately, then I asked about hers.

"Hidupku ya gini-gini aja, Ra. Cuma ngurus anak dan belanja. Hahaha. Enakkan jadi kamu!" she said, after a droll silence. I laughed, embarrassed, and told her to shut up. 

Most of the time, I wonder how would it be when we look outside our windows on a sunny day to see business people doing lunch meeting in good venues, while we almost throw up studying for tomorrow's exams, or when we look forward to long weekends so that we can finally catch up with our family. 

What would those non-medicine people think about us? 

Would they look at us like aliens? Would they see us like normal human being? Or just the other way around? Maybe as cool as like those in Grey's?

Do they secretly in their hearts, yell, "Oh, give yourself a break.. You live for once. Enjoy it, God's sake!" 

Waking up at 4 am getting ready for shift rotation is not fun. 

Preparing short presentation in Sunday for (sudden) Monday's discussion, while you still have bunches of paperwork you've been neglected the whole week, is not fun. 

Doing shift on Sat night while your other friends having dinner... is not fun.

Rushed and late meals, almost... eve-ry-day~are not fun. 

Dealing with supervisors about your case presentation is not fun. Even worse when your proposals, repeatedly, rejected. (Personal experience happened to me just now! :p)
Struggling to keep your eyes opened in the clinic after a prolonged and tiresome shift last night is not fun (and apparently, yeah... not cool).
And no, counting of how many friends' wedding and family events you've missed, is not fun... at all. 

I've once asked myself, what would I be if I weren't a doctor. Alike one of my good friends back in Melbourne, doing his school majoring in fine art & fashion photography, and at the same time earning money being a free lance photographer, I've once told him of how envy I am. Seeing him making money from hobbies. But then, his words slapped me, 

"Ra. Jadi dokter masih bisa motret. Tapi jadi fotografer? Nggak bisa nyuntik orang." -H.S 

Not that I don't love the path I have taken. 

Not that I'm not grateful about the life maybe lots out there, been always dreaming of.
Not that I've never imagined how residency life's gonna be.
Not that I regret it.
I chose this. I'll take the consequences. No matter what. But I mean.. D*mn. 

Ophthalmology residency has always been my biggest dream since clinical years. Since the time when lots of friends still having no clue about what specialty they have the interest in, I knew this medical discipline won my heart too soon. And if I'm asked to ever switch my life, to someone else's, I wouldn't. Maybe I'd rather just wouldn't recommend medicine (or taking specialty, in particular) to anyone ;p

Again, I'm made aware that, maybe medical world~ something we've chosen, is longer, harder, and requires more patience than possibly anything else. The road might be tough, rough and cripples us along the way. Got us stumble, time and again. 

We have no choice but to keep on... well, doing it. Be true. Do it by heart. Fear no mistakes, fear no cracks. Laugh at them once in a while. But hang in there and walk. Because something bigger, better... awaits.

Never lose the faith.

Indira

Royal Botanic Garden 2006: Flower Heaven

I was so surprised as I found these pictures while tracing back some old folders of mine about 6 years ago. I almost didn't remember that I've even, ever, captured all of these pictures. I couldn't believe how I could've left them untouched for so long. Recalling... they were taken in Royal Botanic Garden, Melbourne, AU back in 2006 when me and 2 of my soul mates, R and G, were doing our research year there. I still used my old Nikon d70 with kit lens 18-70 mm, and a 50mm f/1.4 friend's lens. All were edited using Instagram application. Yeah, looks like I'm too lazy to use the Photoshop these days. Anyways, please have a look :)

 Bees sipping food. No macro lens was used. Look how I kinda miss the focus :(

My favorite shot. Melbourne's blue sky's always amazing. Always.

I always had a thing with the word "indigo"

Wild daisies grown beautifully on green grass.

See how these 2 funny creatures were autistically doing their thing. 

Seems like I've successfully possessed them to believe that photography is tons of fun, no matter what your gear is, even a pocket camera. 

 Really miss these happy moments with them.

It's so funny how flowers have actually tickled my sense of photographs since back then. 

Melbourne, with every side and unforgettable memories this city had imprinted in me, will always make me want to go back there someday. I really do hope I will. In time.

G'day mate!

Indira

Pearls

"When God tests you, it is never to destroy you. Whenever He removes something from your possession, it is only to empty your hand for an even better gift" -Sidqie

...just got some beautiful words from an old friend of mine through bbm today.

Festivity

May 18th. It was 4-day long weekend. And 4 of us were looking for Indonesian meal. I've luckily switched my schedule for the night shift so I wouldn't get no disturbance during the holidays ;p

Remboelan resto was our pick.

Big and sinful dinner. Worth the price, so.. No regrets. 

May the 19th. Fashion & food festival in Kampoeng Tempoe Doeloe, MKG.

 Culinary heaven. Went here with my friend, G.

Imagine how we were drown between those crowds. Whoa, frustrating. 

Coupons we had to change before the food hunt.

As starter, I got this Es Kering. 

Banana ice cream, pressed with cinammon cookies. Unique. 

 My dinner that night. And yes, it was thunder on the tongue. 

Had it with telur puyuh, too.

G having her choco-peanut Es Goyang.

The local acoustic orchestra. 

Roti bakar pandan.  

Great short holiday in the hometown. Food soul... satisfied. 

Indira