I do admire people who still try to hold a smile 

when they have every right to break down..

Residency is a self-inflicted disorder.
It's a busy, throbbing, spinning, buzzing, alien environment everyday...
And I'm just about to begin.

 

My personal picture, taken last year in Vatican city, Italy.

That red-blue crossing sign says "non po pedere", in English 

means "no standing".

Don't stand still where you are... Walk on.

Your heart will lead you to the right way.

"It's okay to make mistake.

What it's not okay is not learning from your mistake.

Repetition brings excellence.
That's what makes you a great surgeon."

Anthony J. Aldave, MD.
ORBIS Live Surgery- DSE Keratoplasty
Cipto Hospital,
January 18, 2011

I WANT THISSS!!! *die crying*

 

Image courtesy of Tumblr.com

Had just finished cleaning up my place this afternoon. It’d been quite a mess for the last one week. I was sitting there in my eating table, trying to catch my breath. On the tv, my childhood time favorite show~ Barney the purple dino, was on. As usual, they sang the itsy bitsy spider.

Then I was taken myself away, pondering...

That all are not the same anymore. Of course not regarding the show. But of how I could no longer enjoy the fun it brings. That the laughter of those kids and every happy song they sing, turned out into sad sounds.

That in such a way, those had become an amusement park you can no longer have the discount voucher to get in. Or your favorite teddy bear Mom had put on the top shelf so you wouldn't be able to reach. Something you can no longer grab.

You have, unconsciously, entered a one-way door which leads to a place where what constantly bothers you is how to keep your family's good name, to always make them proud. No matter what. Somewhere you could no longer reward yourself going to the fancy resto after you received the school's report card just because two days ago you've spent this month's budget for books... car's fuel... or buying the kitchen needs. Or... you just realized you still had an outstanding for last month's electricity bills.

A time where you could no more go to the cinema just as a celebration that you've passed last week's exams. Since what's really crucial now in not only passing it, like you used to do in high school, but also of how you can really enrich yourself with the value it gives, and know the essence that it'll someday affect your career, your job~ your duty to help people. Because it's not the title at the back of your name that you're gonna sell. Instead, it's the quality within you.

And that is the time, when you've been self-reminded, maybe for the hundredth time, that you're a grown up. With a heavy rock glued on your shoulder. 

A state where you suddenly hate an undeniable fact of life called responsibility.

These cuts will heal themselves, and the bruise will fade.

Even if the scars will stay, I'll cover them under my clothes.

I'll hold  my tears up, hide them behind the smile of my eyes.


You won't notice a thing.

I thought we'd be simple together...

I think Sally misses her Carls.

 Though Sally knows, she shouldn't anymore.

On my very own (sweet) way...

quoted from Amy Dover

Been fooling myself around singing this along.

Whatever.

Asthenopia [as′thənō′pē·ə]

Etymology: Gk, a, sthenos + ops, eye

a condition in which the eyes tire easily because 

of weakness of the ocular or ciliary muscles.

Too much reading, and coffee, and reading
and coffee for the last a couple of days.
My bad.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

 (Helen Keller)

 This is taken by a very talented 16-year old American photographer, Christina Mun.

I really love her works. She always adds soft tones in her photos.

And I've been thinking of writing some review about her art.  

Wait up! Wait up!

When you are on the edge, 
then your common sense is off duty.

This valid to everyone. Termasuk saya.

Because the clock's ticking and good future won't wait

Hey ya, bloggy.

Uhm... So. This is gonna be my first writing in 2011. 

To begin with, let me greet you a very happy new year! Though me myself don't really consider it as something to celebrate. I even spent the n.y.e sleeping. Haha...


Anyways, recalling to what 2010 brought me.

Let's see:

Graduation, first jobs, exams, studying abroad, family issues, new friends (or foes?), frustrating health problems, heart matters, expectations,obstacles, achievements, failures,  lost, laughter, rage,hesitation, disappointment, self-conflicts, etc.

Times have been rough. Hundreds of rises. Nevertheless, thousands of falls.

Now. Not that January is the first or the beginning of the year. But in my case, it'll be the  the new section of my book (of life).

Soon this month, I'll get myself back to the uni life, taking the major of ophthalmology. Therefore, in no time, I'll be leaving my house, then moving in to the place near the hospital where I work in. I will again be involved with all the household do-it-yourself activites, just like what I used to do back in the college.Whichhh... Gets me pretty excited! Speaking of moving in anyways, I'm currently  busy renovating my new place. Getting the wall painted, moving stuffs, buying this and that then nearly got killed by the bills! (or my father?! :p), and... all about grabbing the pledge then blowing the dust off!

Well, off to the topic: new section. I really hope this new start, in the new place, will bring me nothing but a self-improvement. Of course not to forget to bookmark the old pages and looking back through them for once in a while, instead of just start writing in the new blank ones, right?

I had a talk quite a few weeks ago with my long lost buddy, Haga. And just like the old days, his words always inspire me,

 "Compete with yourself, defeat your old self. Fear not failure, fear not indifference. Look back. Contemplate. Make mistake again. Enjoy."

Still with the injured wound, I should now, take the step forward.
Acknowledge and accept my limitations. Blame nothing, neither no one.
Focus on new goals.

Image courtesy by Haga Sosrowardoyo :')

And last, by no means least- referring to what 365 days back then had taught me and even to all the mistakes I've made...
 None of which I regret.
Because in fact, they've garnished me.