Insomnia's knocking on the door, then left me staring in front of the monitor, blogging. My mind's been busy lately, even with the eyes closed. I've been asking myself, "Have I, have you, have us all, been grateful enough? For what we got today?"
As human, it's probably easy to be thankful when we are happy. But where do we go when things are not going the way we plan? Most of us will go like, "Why me?", or... "No, you don't understand." And other bunches of lines showing how desperate we are. How this life has cost us nothing but endless suffering.

This reminds me of what my father told me. Unconsciously as human, we often think we deserve merely good deeds in life; health, happiness, wealthiness. However, we got the opposite; illness, failure, unworthiness. Then we think God's not fair. When we receive bad things, try to remember those times when we had the good ones.."Racing horse doesn't know why it has to run and win the competition. All it knows is that it has to run, because it's painful when its back got hit."This life is like a race. And God's the jokey. When you got hurt, when you think everything's ruining under your roof, try to think, "God wants you to win."
So, cut the drama. We're not playing a soap opera or Grey's anatomy. Life is not as bad as it may seem. Let's ask ourselves, have we done our best? Or perhaps it's us who cause ourselves the trouble? And exaggerate everything? I know it wouldn't be fair for me to judge how big or small one's problems are. But, why don't we introspect and improve. Because maybe the obstacles we're facing today are nothing compared with those that'd be coming tomorrow. Easy to tell, h*ll to do, yes? But I'm sure, it'll be worth trying.
And remember,
there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Night's getting late. I'm shutting my laptop down, with the hope, these two eyes will follow.

Have a good rest, dear readers. Nito.
Indira

How dark is the darkness?

Dragged into the lowest point of your life. Moments of paused steps, muted. Worries, doubts, fears... blended. A time when you feel like your life is nothing but your own enemy. Days of sleepless night. Very tiresome. Then you are conditioned like you're rushing that better things will show. No, they won't. Not always. But try to believe that there's no such thing as infinite darkness. Because maybe under that unenlightenedment, it'll be the only time you'll be able to see, that through that curtain, there'll be sunlight coming in. Maybe not now, not anytime soon. But they're there, finding their way to you. Then you'll realize that, there'll be no longer cold nights under that moonlight biting your skin. 

February the 18th 2012

Never give in, even with the slightest breath you still have. Because those wounds will dry and patched themselves up.

This post goes to someone once dedicated me this song.

I might be the one the rest of the world would call 'out-of-her-mind' to write this for you. But let that be. You'll get through whatever you're facing now. Not only because you can, but also because you have to. You have no idea how you still break me with everything you do, good or bad. But I'll manage my sorrow, I care about you too much to tell you how it hurts knowing what you're going through right now.

Indira

Time does fly. Snap! Just like a flick of your finger. Distance torn people apart. What the so called grown up business rapped our time.We're all drown in our own paths we've chosen. Our all-time dreams. Got us all nearly insane by routines. Left us unconciously egocentric. Then, to some part, friendships broken. As well as faith tortured, somehow, irreversibly. Love fell in, then failed out. Relationship shattered. Hopes aimed high, then the next day regrets left. Things changed. We all, too. Time did teach us, nurtured us. Yet, changed us all. Both in a good or sadly, the bad way.

Good old times? Hey, what are they?

Where did they go?

Looks like precious memories cost us heavy price these days..

"Or maybe it's just waiting for the right time to come up again.." 

-B.P- March, 2012

And yes, I'm looking forward to that.

Indira

Just The 2 of Us

I've been missing this lovely lady so much, as much as I've missed

our quality time together :*

Here we go, dined in at our all-time-fave eatery.

It was my first try with this salmon aglio olio, 

and I think I made a right choice.

As always, R's pick went to this spicy tuna pasta with ebi.

A really nice taste of banana pizza with cinnamon ice cream

for my dessert. 

R's Raspberry panna cotta tasted just... okay ;)

Neither the going-out with my soulmate failed, nor ever Bakerzin.

This place has always been our favorite.

❤

Credit goes to my friend, R, for the images and editing ;)

All were taken and post-processed with her oh-very-attempting iPhone. 

xoxo,

Indira

I was simply surprised today. Dr. SA, who happens to be my ex boss, bought me this Panna Cotta, an Italian dessert and gave it to me in the policlinic. This lovely lady loves to cook, loves to eat. She loves food, like she'll die for it.

What delighted me is, she knows exactly that green tea is my favorite. It's such a special feeling that someone remembers little thing about you. A simple thing that really made my day. Thank you, Doc :)

Buen apetito!

Today is actually turned out to be a bad day for me. This morning, in the sport stadium of GBK Senayan, my BB just got stolen by a pocket-picker. My bad, my stupidity. I put the phone in the outermost pouch of my waist bag. Then I didn't realize that it was taken away. And what's the saddest thing is... I bought it with the money I really earned myself from photo jobs :( Well. Well. Instead of wasting my time in regrets, posting sounds to be something better to do.  

So now, let me take you to Spain while staying inside the country.

 Hola! Bienvenido a Tapas Movida...

Just yesterday, me, G and P had our lunch in Tapas Movida resto

in Cipete, South Jakarta.

Stepped in, we could feel the atmosphere of Espanola all over..

The classic diagonal black and white tiles.

The Mediterranean style was really warm and  inviting.

I like the mosaic stone sitting. 

The Stage. 

As starter, we had Gambas al ajilo. Dried bread added with prawn,

and butter, garlic sauce. 

IDR 15K

Tenderloin cambozola. This appetizer is a must!

The meat was really soft and juicy.

IDR 15K

G and P ordered Pescaso al horno. Baked snapper fish with

tomato and paprika sauce.

IDR 40K

My pick went to Pollo a la vasca. Chicken with potato gratin.

I was looking for carbs as I was really craving.

IDR 40K

We shared the dessert for 3. It's Reinette.

The nougat-vanilla ice cream served with apple cake and cream.

IDR 35K

Great meal in a comfy place with friendly staff. All in definetely affordable prices. Nothing got us disappointed that day. And we're definitely want to come back someday.

Buen apetito, mi chico.

Indira

Up, up, up up!

Today is the last day of the first year in my residency. It's coming to the reality that in a few short time, I'll go to the higher level of my education. Oh. How's that sound? I will be the one on call. And in about few months later, I will be the one who called, "jaga 2" in the night shift, the one who assist the operation.. the one who first getting contacted during the duty. The one who has to sign the order.

Sure, I’ll still be in training, learning process. I have my senior residents and fellows to learn from and ask questions of. Nevertheless, the idea that in the clinic I’ll have the responsibility that comes with the title of third degree resident kinda freaks me.

Until the upcoming 3 months, I'll have my rotation in Glaucoma division, one of my fav field after the retina.

I think that only experience will battle this properly. I'll manage it ;)

Wish me the very best luck.

Indira